you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
