I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
