I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
