I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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