i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
