it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I deserve this hangover.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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