Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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