Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize