...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize