marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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