I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He kissed a someone with a penis
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
