I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
