Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Randomize
