There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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