I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
