Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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