I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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