With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
