Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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