Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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