Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize