I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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