dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize