i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
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