So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize