went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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