It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Who died my cat blue again?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
