Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
