Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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