Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
do herpes really smell.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
