dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
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I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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