Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
