I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize