He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
