Are we in a gay sports bar?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
