he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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