Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
third nipple confirmed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Randomize