Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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