Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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