i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
