The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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