Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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