Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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