I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
