She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
