Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
