My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Randomize
