if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
