I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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