I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
do nipples grow back?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
