idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Alive.
So much puke
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
