Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
