Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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