I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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