he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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