It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
