I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
