You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
